How to Explain to Your Child that Your Phone was Seized by the Sheriff's Office
Notes from the Upside Down
By Jessica Schneider
Opinion Essay
April 21, 2025
My reporting is stunted while the investigation into the incident at the park rolls onward. Not having access to my phone has made this modern life remarkably difficult. So, until we can back to “normal” (whatever that is) I am writing through this.
“Computer Says No”
Need to check your email outside of a trusted wifi network?
No.
Need to access your PayPal account?
No.
How about Facebook?
Hell no.
Need to drive to an address you’ve never been to?
Ahahahaha…!
Need to fill a prescription? Why didn’t you use the app?
The list goes on.
It Looks… Bad
If you had braces installed in your mouth as a child, you know how foreign and uncomfortable they are. They serve a purpose (that all-American straight toothed smile) but get in the way of all the things you are used to doing with your face: Eating, drinking, keeping your teeth clean, kissing your seventh grade paramour at the movie theater, etc.
Not having my phone, or my phone number, feels like new braces on my entire life.
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